Unapproachable

The experience of a train compartment goes much deeper for women than where they sit and how they strategically place their belongings. It’s happened to me often enough that I’d be harassed or made to feel unsafe even with these precautions. For many culprits these precautions are something to easily swerve around and do what they want anyway.

There are more precautions women can take: look angry, wear headphones (with or without music), don’t make eye contact, use uninterested body language, and don’t stand out. In general: appear unapproachable. If there’s direct danger, women can act as if they’re calling someone, to let it be known that there’s somebody waiting for you, that you’re not really alone, that someone will miss you when you don’t come home.

Many men don’t realize how many precautions women have to take to do everything they can to get home safely. Some even interpret these safety measures as the reason women are without romantic partners (fig. 3). “You’d be prettier if you smiled.” “What are you looking so angry for?” “You could’ve been nicer.” These are phrases many women have heard in their life, sometimes even spoken by strangers. Nobody is entitled to somebody else’s smile or has a right to be coddled at the expense of a stranger’s energy. It would be wonderful, of course, if we could all be smiling all the time, that we’d all be happy, joyful, and safe. We haven’t reached that world yet, so my resting bitch face will be staying for a while.