An affectionate mom is the best mom

The parent who takes care of the house and who is responsible for taking care of the children, is the mother.

But what is the reason behind all this? The Japanese government promoted the idea that no one could be a better caretaker of the family than a woman. That is why women were pressured and expected to quit their jobs and to devote themselves entirely towards their families, especially to raising children. This ideology is best known under the name ryōsai kenbo or ‘good wife, wise mother’. The normalization of ryōsai kenbo caused many women to believe that they could complete the life of their husbands by marrying and by raising children full-time [Rice 2002, p 93]. Japanese men were busy with their jobs, so taking care of children and household chores were not part of male responsibilities. The normalized ideals of the salarymen and the ryōsai kenbo ideal reinforced the notion that raising children was a woman’s job, and that she was the only one responsible for this [[Ibid, p 92]] (https://doi.org/10.1017/cbo9780511509582.006). If a woman refused, she would be considered a bad mother by Japanese society and by herself as well [[Fujita 1989, p 73]] (https://doi.org/10.2307/132408).

Japanese mothers believe that staying at home all the time is beneficial for their children’s health [Rice 2002, p 93]. The best example to explain this is amae.Amae literally means ‘dependence’, but in practice it can be considered as the inseparable bond between mother and child [Ibid]. Especially during the early years of childrearing it is very important for the mother to create a deep bond with her child, because she is the one who is responsible for how her children will develop later on. Japanese preschool institutions strongly encourage Japanese mothers to be kosodate mama’s. A kosodate mama is a mother who devotes all her time towards raising her children and thus contribute to the general welfare of the children [Ibid, p 85]. A very important aspect of being a kosodate mama, which is highly stressed by Japanese preschool educations, is being a kyōiku mama or education mama. A kyōiku mama is a mother who is an essential player in the education of her young child by actively engaging in her child’s educational life. The demands of the involvement of kyōiku mama’s are high. These range from helping children with their homework, to making fresh, healthy lunches every single day. This leaves almost no free time for Japanese mothers themselves, due to the fact that their whole lives are centered around taking care of the children and their school work [Allison 2000, p 117]. Mothers who do not devote all their time and effort in their children and their education are seen as “selfish” and “irresponsible” [Rice 2002, p 97].