‘Painful, troublesome and empty’

Life has been painful, troublesome and empty for me for as long as I can remember. […] I have always suffered a lot physically, morally, and intellectually, and this is what everything boils down to. [...] A moment of satisfaction with my feeling, I do not remember, nor do I believe that I ever had such a moment. [...] I have always felt that I was not at home in this world, and desired truth, uprightness, and alignment of souls; but I found lies, sway and selfishness.

Bilderdijk’s final view immortalised. Life had been ‘painful, troublesome, and empty.’ It is that same life that had always fired his imagination. As a child, Bilderdijk developed psychosomatic complaints that would accompany him throughout his life. In addition, when Bilderdijk was six years old, a neighbour boy stood on his left foot. Improper medical treatment led to complications and forced Bilderdijk to spend the remainder of his childhood indoors, separated from his peers.

In 1776, Bilderdijk broke through as a poet. A prize verse about the influence of poetry on state administration earned him the medal of honour from the Leiden poetry society Kunst Wordt Door Arbeid Verkreegen. Other literary successes followed. After his studies, Bilderdijk became a lawyer. In 1785 he married Catharina Rebecca Woesthoven. It was a union they would both regret bitterly. Their characters clashed, infant mortality cast a shadow over their existence and their debts piled up.

The Dutch Republic had been plagued by political unrest for years. When the patriots took power in 1795 with the support of French troops, they demanded an oath of human and citizen rights from all lawyers. The orangist Bilderdijk refused with a flaming appeal, which forced him to leave the country. He said goodbye to his wife, children and creditors and left for England via Germany. Here he met nineteen-year-old Katharina Wilhelmina Schweickhardt. She followed him to Germany in 1797. Only in 1802 would Bilderdijk officially divorce his first wife.

His exile - which he regarded as a metaphor for his own life - came to an end in 1806. That year, Bilderdijk returned to the Netherlands with his family. In the meantime, a new political situation had arisen there: the former Republic was now known as the kingdom of Holland with Louis Napoleon, Napoleon's brother, as monarch. After the defeat of Napoleon and the return of Orange in 1813, Bilderdijk hoped to acquire a professorship, which was not granted him.

In 1817 he settled as a private teacher in Leiden, where he stayed until 1827. Here he acquired a small but devoted crowd of students, whom he taught in the history of the Netherlands. His culture-critical ideas perceived by many as reactionary aroused increasing resistance.

Bilderdijk spent the last years of his life in Haarlem. His strength decreased and his memory weakened. He passed away on December 18, 1831. Let's fly through his life to come back here at the end of this tour.